you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
