True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
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