Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize