do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
