Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
