If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
