i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
