Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
