My room smells like vodka and shame
I am puke
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize