I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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