i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
