physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
