its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize