we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
