I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
