Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
