you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
