this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
