She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
