the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
