I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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