I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
