god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
