He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
