so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
