we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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