I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
You took a bar mat shot.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
PANTIES FOUND
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
