I'm eating all of the evidence.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
