I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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