Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
