at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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