I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
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