I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
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