I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
