Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize