Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
