Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize