well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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