Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
