I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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