it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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