I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
where does the pee come out of this thing
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Randomize
