you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
