i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize
