Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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