omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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