Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
