I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
