thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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