GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Randomize
