Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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