Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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