Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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