Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
grandma shit on top of the toilet
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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