why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Randomize
