There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Randomize
