Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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