Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
