Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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