Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
