I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
