I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
